Disabilities can come with many challenges − in seeking medical care, in daily life, in work, in socializing. One aspect that many do not consider, or perhaps even know about, is the chronic pain that often comes with many medical conditions and disabilities.
More than 1.5 billion people in the world have chronic pain, according to the American Academy of Pain Medicine. More than 100 million Americans are affected by it, making it the most common cause of long-term disability in the U.S. Despite its prevalence, it is rarely discussed in relation to disability. Chronic pain is just one of many invisible disabilities, but it often comes along with many other conditions and can make life with those disabilities even more challenging.
What is chronic pain?
Everyone deals with aches and pains from time to time, but it usually fades as injuries heal. With chronic pain, one’s body may continue to send pain signals even after injuries heal or in absence of an injury. Common types include chronic headaches, back pain, nerve pain, and arthritis or joint pain.
By definition, chronic pain lasts 12 or more weeks, but it can last for months or even years. Burning or aching, sharp or dull, chronic pain can vary widely in sensation, severity, and areas affected, and oftentimes it can affect the same person differently each day.
People with chronic pain have good days and bad days, but ‘good days’ do not necessarily equate to pain-free days. Some days might approach “ordinary,” allowing them to go out and work and socialize, as the pain is manageable or minimal. Other days might mean not leaving the house or even bed because of the pain, accompanying fatigue, or other symptoms. Chronic pain can be limiting, unpredictable, changeable, and there isn’t always a cure. Treatment can usually only focus on managing pain or increasing mobility in some cases.
Chronic pain takes a toll on people physically, mentally, and emotionally. It might be accompanied by fatigue, difficulty concentrating, difficulty moving or walking, and can lead to reduced stamina and strength.
When the brain is constantly bombarded with pain signals, it can have long-term effects on the nervous system. Insomnia and sleep problems are common consequences, which only worsen stress and the ability to focus. In addition to the physical effects, it can take a toll on mental health, contributing to depression and anxiety.
How to support those with chronic pain
When you have loved ones, friends, or coworkers dealing with chronic pain, it can be difficult to know how to support or help them. While you cannot change the fact that they may be in pain, simply offering support can go a long way.
People with chronic pain may not often speak about their condition or health or may be reluctant to do so. It can be difficult to explain the experience of chronic pain, especially to those who have never experienced it. If they wish to speak about their pain or condition, listen without preconceptions, judgment, or expectation. They are likely not seeking advice or solutions; simply listening and offering compassion can be more than enough. Offer validation and acknowledgment that it’s okay to not be okay.
If they do not want to discuss their health much, it might be beneficial to do a bit of research on their condition for yourself so they do not have to explain things as much, which can be exhausting when it becomes such a frequent necessity.
Patience is key. Chronic pain means good days and bad days, and the bad days rarely heed plans and schedules. If they ask to reschedule or alter plans, offer understanding and compassion. Chronic pain can feel isolating, so it is important to continue to include and invite them or to adjust pre-existing plans to accommodate.
Respect their limitations and trust them to know their own limitations. If they cannot walk long distances, need to sit down frequently, or need to take medications at specific times, try to keep these in mind when making plans. When they request a break or pause, listen. Being flexible and patient, both when making and during your social plans, can be incredibly helpful.
Usually, if you aren’t sure how to help or support them, the best thing to do is just to ask. If they aren’t sure or cannot think of anything, try to make specific offers even if it is something small − keeping them company on bad days, helping to run errands, or even a ride to doctor’s appointments.
If nothing else, simply spending time with your loved one as you normally would be a relief. When poor health or pain impacts their life severely, offering a moment of “ordinary” can be a refreshing and relaxing break from the sense of abnormality that chronic pain often causes when it disrupts life.
Chronic pain can be very difficult for people to live with, but support from loved ones and those around them can make a huge difference. When you know someone with chronic pain, listening well, respecting their limitations and boundaries, and having open-minded, honest conversations can be hugely beneficial. Life with chronic pain can be difficult and isolating, but with the right support, it does not have to be that way and your support can make their life a little easier and richer.
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